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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747715">Whole</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporadic_obsession/pseuds/sporadic_obsession'>sporadic_obsession</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Given (Anime), Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Music, given are just for plot but</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:16:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,569</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporadic_obsession/pseuds/sporadic_obsession</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Knew that this would happen, right from the start.<br/>Day by day the distance tears us apart.”</p><p>Or, the one where Kageyama Tobio is a touring musician with secret feelings towards his housemate and best friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is short and self-indulging (I can't stop thinking of different ways that Kageyama and Uenoyama get confused and it's a little too hilarious), and I can’t really excuse myself except that I was listening to coldrain (again) and just got stuck with all the feels.<br/>This is inspired by coldrain’s song “Whole”.<br/>Constructive criticsim always appreciated!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is a gentle sigh passing through Kageyama’s lips before he can stop it, soft and barely audible as he presses a closed fist to one of his eyes until tiny, glittering spots fill the darkness behind his eyelids.</p><p>It has been roughly two months since the man has last been in his hometown, and the ache of being away from home isn’t easy to deal with. Of course, he’d known the moment he’d chosen to become a musician that there’d be long periods of time away from home; he has to tour, otherwise there is no revenue for him to live a comfortable life. And although he has been at it for many years now, there are times he wishes he could’ve simply chosen a different passion, something that didn’t keep him away from his loved ones.</p><p>There is a special loved one, at that, who he’s supposed to be calling right about now, and it hurts especially bad to be apart from him.</p><p>“Fucking hell,” the tall bassist groans, his voice already hoarse with the pain he knows will tug at his heart as soon as he hears the other man’s voice.</p><p>With another sigh, Kageyama drops his free hand as he opens his eyes to stare down at his cell phone. He feels a pang underneath his ribcage as his wallpaper grins back at him, a candid photograph he’d taken when the subject of it was a little too drunk to notice, his wide smile and blushed cheeks more endearing than the bassist dares to admit out loud. The orange hair flying at every angle was up to par to what the other man usually donned in his daily life, and Kageyama can’t stop thinking that he looks like what sunshine would look like if it was made into a person.</p><p>Allowing the photograph to reprieve some of the homesickness he feels, Kageyama dials the all too familiar phone number and brings the cell phone up to his ear, the call ringing loudly as he waits for the other to pick up. For a fleeting moment, he wishes the call would never connect, unable to bear the silence that was sure to come, the stilted words and unusual quietness. Of course, as the universe never quite listens to him, there is a moment of silence as the ringing stops, signaling that the call has gotten through.</p><p>“Hey.” It’s the only word Tobio finds to break the silence, his eyes facing the floor between his spread legs, chest heavy with a pain so deep he can’t deny its existance, no matter how much he tries.</p><p>“Hi,” is the simple reply, Hinata Shouyou’s voice much quieter than normal, the sadness that tinges those two simple letters louder than anything else he could ever say.</p><p>Tobio hates this. He loves his job, loves music more than he could ever describe, but he’d found that there is room in his heart to love more than just music, unlike he’d previously believed. Growing up, he’d thought the only thing he could trust and love, as it would never betray or abandon him, was music. He’d poured his everything into it, wanting nothing more than to master his passion so he could turn it into his life. And then, he got into high school and literal sunshine started following him around, showing him that where there was once darkness, there is so much more he hasn’t been able to see.</p><p>Kageyama fell in love with Hinata Shouyou as easily as he’d learned how to write when he was young. It took him some observing and analysis of his own emotions, but once he realized it, it was too late - his best friend, with his soft orange hair and toothy grin matching his shining amber eyes was already in a relationship, so Tobio had kept his own emotions in check, hidden and tucked into a corner so deep in his mind he’d forgotten it existed.</p><p>He knows the feelings are there, because every time Hinata smiles at him, he always smiles back, no matter how small his own smile is in comparison; every time his fingers manage to touch his skin, it always feels like there are sparks underneath his dermis; every time Hinata uses his given name, which isn’t very often, a shiver crawls up his spine and leaves him almost dizzy. He knows they aren’t budging or going anywhere when he promises to call every day while he’s away on tour, and he’s been following through with that promise without a single fault. Despite the different schedules, and sometimes even different timezones, Kageyama has always taken a small part of his days to devote it to listen to Hinata talk excitedly about his adventures, his classes, his menial tasks at their shared home, the silly things their cat does.</p><p>The worst of it all is that they aren’t even dating, unlike some of their friends believe. Despite his very obvious feelings for the shorter man, Kageyama has never talked to the other about it, even after his short-lived relationship went sour and Hinata found himself single once again, and again, and again. Each time one of Shouyou’s boyfriends leaves him, for one reason or another, Kageyama is always right there to pull the pieces of the shorter’s broken heart back together, but never as more than a friend. Truth is, Tobio is scared that he’ll be rejected and pushed out of the other’s life, and he’s just selfish enough to want to hold onto Hinata’s sunshine for as long as possible, even if that means disregarding his own love for the man so things won’t get ruined between them.</p><p>“Are you coming to the show tonight?” Tobio’s voice feels way too loud into the silence that has settled over the phone call, despite it being almost a whisper.</p><p>Despite not being home, the concert he is playing tonight is just a few towns away from where he and Hinata live, so he’d sent him a ticket to attend the last show of the tour, should he wish, as a suggestion from his band’s lead singer. Kageyama has no idea why he’d bothered, as he’d be seeing the shorter man just the day after when he went back home, but he can’t deny that the thought of Hinata being at the show filled him with an eagerness to play that had started to fade, the longer he went without seeing the shorter man. Besides, there is a new band playing, the one that will be taking over as the openers for the major band Kageyama’s band has been opening for, and he thinks Hinata will enjoy their music, from the little he’s heard of it.</p><p>“I... I don’t know,” comes the reply, and Tobio feels another stab in his heart. “Do you really want me to?”</p><p>“Of course I do, dumbass,” the bassist says back with no hesitation, the insult falling from his lips automatically. He’s been calling Hinata Shouyou a dumbass ever since they’d met, in high school, and by now it’s almost more of a pet name than an insult. “It’s a longer show than normal, but I think you’ll like the music,” he clarifies, his free hand tugging on a frayed thread of his jeans. “We can drive home together after.”</p><p>Once again, there is silence.</p><p>Tobio doesn’t try to force an answer out of the ginger head, the anger in his heart at this unsettling distance that has grown between him and his best friend too strong to hold back, were he to start talking about it. He wants to say so much, ask Shouyou why he has been so quiet lately, why they can’t talk like they used to, why he is hurting so deeply when it’s Kageyama who has to deal with his unrequited love on top of his longing, but he doesn’t say a thing; if he did, he’d end up confessing his feelings, and ruining the friendship they’d built over the years, and if that’s the result then he’d rather just deal with it on his own.</p><p>“... Tobio.” Just the call of his name, after a short sigh on Hinata’s part, even through the crackling noise on the receiver on his cell phone, is enough to send a shiver down the bassist’s back. “I’ll be there. Don’t you have to go practice or whatever it is you do before going on stage?”</p><p>There is some of the usual spark behind Hinata’s voice at the last question, and Tobio can’t help the relieved smile that tugs at his lips. It’s nowhere near how they usually talk, bickering and competing over every little thing as if they have to make a game out of even the most menial tasks, but it is something more than the silence they’d built with each phone call they’d made through the days Kageyema has been away.</p><p>The two talk only for a few minutes further, because the bassist really does have other matters to attend to in regards to the show later that day, but it’s enough to sate the need inside Tobio’s chest for the other man, at least for now. He knows that he only feels like this because he’ll be seeing him later, but decides not to dwell too hard on it as he makes his way out of his hotel room and towards the nearby venue, where he knows his band mates are waiting, to start discussing some changes to their setlist for the day.</p><p>He reaches the venue in just a few minutes by foot, sunglasses on so the bright sun high in the sky won’t bother his ocean blue eyes, and right after he enters through the back door, showing his pass to the security guard outside, he feels a tug on the sleeve of his jacket, as he’s pulled to the side by an overexcited man. Kageyama’s heart stutters in his chest as he spots the headful of orange hair that bounces as the man keeps pulling him further into the building, and his ears can’t quite catch what he’s babbling on about, his brain too stunned to comprehend his current predicament.</p><p>As the two come to a stop, the man turns and his eyes look so bright and excited that Tobio feels his own heart flip inside his chest once again. The irises are a soft hazel tone, but they remind the taller man of twinkling stars, such is the emotion displayed in them.</p><p>“Uenoyama-kun,” the man calls, waving his free hand in front of Kageyama’s face to break him out of his stupor, and the bassist blinks a few times to aid him in that, the name not totally unfamiliar. “You okay, Uenoyama-kun?” He continues to call, his voice gentle and soft and so unlike Hinata’s that the resemblance in hair and eye color immediately seem to disappear.</p><p>“Uh...” Tobio uses his own free hand to lift the sunglasses from over his eyes, his squinty expression fully visible as he looks at the boy who, unrelentingly, is still holding onto his jacket. “I think you’re mistaking me for someone else,” he clarifies, watching as the shorter man tilts his head like a lost puppy, realization crossing his features as he releases his hold on Kageyama’s sleeve.</p><p>“Uh, Mafuyu?”</p><p>Both the ginger head, who Tobio assumes is Mafuyu, and himself turn their heads to find a man beside them, and the bassist does a double take. It’s almost like looking into a mirror, although the man is slightly shorter and his hair not as neatly pressed down as his own - their faces are similar enough they could be taken for twins, and their eyes almost the same shade of blue.</p><p>“Uenoyama-kun!” The shorter of the three men calls, and Tobio watches as he rushes to the other’s side, his arms encircling the waist of his doppelgänger as he buries his face in his chest, undoubtedly to hide his reddening cheeks in embarrassment.</p><p>Tobio watches as the man, Uenoyama, wraps his own arms around Mafuyu in a hug, and his face moves down so he can plant a kiss on top of the other’s head, a gesture so intimate and loving that Kageyama wants nothing more than to look away. Still, he finds himself staring, wondering if that’s how it would look if him and Hinata were together, if he decided to let go of his fears and confess his feelings so the other could, hopefully, reciprocate them. He clears his throat to shake away the thought, and as blue eyes look up at him once again, he wills away the rest of his longing feelings for his best friend, once more shoving them to a dark corner of his compartmentalized brain.</p><p>“Sorry about that, Mafuyu’s a bit of an airhead sometimes,” Uenoyama says, gently pushing Mafuyu to his side so he remains under his arm, but is no longer between him and the slightly taller man. “I’m Uenoyama Ritsuka, lead guitarist for Given,” he introduces himself, and Kageyama understands then why the name sounds so familiar. “This is Satou Mafuyu, our lead singer.”</p><p>“Ah. Kageyama Tobio, bassist for Karasuno,” he says in reply, giving a small bow to the two. “You guys will be replacing our band as the openers for the next few shows,” he states as he rights himself, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets right after. “I’ve gotta go meet the rest of the band to adjust some things on our setlist, sorry for the confusion here.”</p><p>Not wanting to spend a minute longer looking at what could’ve been, at an image so similar to the ones he sees in his head when he dreams of him and his best friend together, Kageyama excuses himself and moves away from the couple in fast strides. He is fairly sure he’s come off slightly rude, as he usually does even when he doesn’t mean to, but he has to get away before his brain catches up, once again, to what he was seeing, and makes him do something he’ll later regret.</p><p>Burying himself in talks of different songs to play and how to go about rearranging their setlist, Kageyama spends the last few hours before the concert shoving away intrusive thoughts of bright amber irises and soft orange hair that has slipped so easily between his fingers fewer times than Tobio has wanted. He tries to keep the couple he’d met earlier out of his sight, the tantalizing view of the two together making his imagination go wild with possibilities he doesn’t want - or has any time - to consider.</p><p>At about the half hour mark before the concert, Kageyama has just returned to the venue after heading to his hotel room to shower and change, his hair still dripping onto his leather jacket as it dries by itself in the heat of the common room where all three bands performing that night are hanging out. He’s distracted himself with his phone, playing a game he’s become addicted to thanks to his best friend, when suddenly there’s a loud yelp across the room, and his blue eyes detach themselves from his screen to see what is happening. He blinks a few times as he takes in the scene in front of him, before he bursts out laughing, unable to hold himself back.</p><p>He watches, through his laughter, as Hinata grumbles as he gets up from where he’d fallen back on the floor, most likely from trying to jump onto Uenoyama’s back like he usually did to Tobio. He is very small, sure, but Kageyama is sure that, if he wasn’t so used to it by then, his first instinct would probably also be to drop the man on his ass on the floor, like Uenoyama has done. His laughter raises Hinata’s attention to where he is sitting, and his eyes widen comically.</p><p>“To- Kageyama?!” Voice loud and surprised, Kageyama watches as Hinata jumps to his feet and turns to point an accusing finger at him. “What are you doing over there, and also here?! What is this?”</p><p>“That’s not me, obviously, dumbass,” is Kageyama’s simple reply, his laughter dying out as he locks his phone and stands up to greet his best friend, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. “That’s Uenoyama, he’s the guitarist for that band I told you you’d like,” he continues, walking the few steps towards his frazzled best friend, unable to keep the mirth from his eyes. “Are you hurt?”</p><p>“Tch, shut up.” Hinata blushes despite his attempt to look nonchalant about it, glancing back at Ritsuka, who is watching the two, Mafuyu under his arm once again. “That’s creepy as hell, you two look so alike,” he whispers, amber eyes flickering from Kageyama to Uenoyama, before they settle on Mafuyu as well. “Woah, another ginger!”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s a little creepy,” Tobio agrees, his hand moving on its own accord to ruffle the hair atop Hinata’s head, the tingling sensation of warmth spreading throughout his whole body as he does so. He forces himself to remove his hand before long, not wanting to lose control of his own emotions in such a place, and shoves both hands in his pockets once more. “What are you doing here? I thought I’d be seeing you after the show, not before.”</p><p>“...” There’s a short silence between the two friends, and Kageyama watches as Hinata faces his own feet, his longer hair hiding his face from view. “I missed you,” he grumbles, almost too low for Tobio to hear, but he catches the words anyway. They make his heart flip painfully inside his chest, and he can’t help the soft blush on the apples of his cheeks as he looks away from his shorter friend.</p><p>“Yeah. Missed you too,” he whispers in response, and when he feels a pressure on his chest, something harsh and painful against his sternum, he doesn’t need to look down to know it’s Hinata’s head, and wraps one of his arms around the other’s shoulders in a facsimile of a hug. The contact is enough to set his whole body alight, and he wishes, not for the first time, that he could stay like that forever, just touching the orange haired man like this for all of eternity; that would be enough.</p><p>“I... We should talk after the show,” Shouyou whispers, and Kageyama freezes in place, feeling like time has stopped.</p><p>Usually, his conversations with Hinata are easy to handle, even when they bicker and fight; they are both pretty hotheaded, so they usually talk out their feelings as soon as they come up, arguing about who is right or wrong easily, and then getting over it just as quickly. So, they never have felt the need to warn the other when they need to have a serious talk; it always just happens naturally. To hear his best friend ask him for a serious conversation sends fear into Kageyama’s veins, and he feels trepidation crawl all over his skin.</p><p>“S-sure,” he replies shakily, pulling himself away from his best friend’s space before he can figure out how his heart begins to race, overtaken by anxiety. “I, uh. We gotta go sound check soon, you should head up to the crowd so you can find a spot up front, otherwise you won’t see a thing,” he says, trying to bring back the teasing tone to his voice, wanting nothing more than to forget about his sudden fears.</p><p>He’a glad when Hinata punches his arm lightly, a grumble falling from the shorter’s lips before he does as he was told, leaving the backstage room. Kageyama watches the wild-haired man leave in quick strides, and huffs a sigh as soon as he’s gone, his hand clenching over his chest as if that will help calm his fast beating heart. He can only imagine that Hinata has figured out about Tobio’s feelings for him, and wants nothing more to do with him. The thought of losing the short man, of no longer having him in his life, is one that hurts very deeply, but Tobio would understand.</p><p>“Yo, Kageyama, was that your boyfriend?”</p><p>The question breaks the bassist from his depressing thoughts, and his face flares up brightly as he turns towards the origin of it, the denial on the tip of his tongue. Thankfully, he’s saved by one of the sound engineers bursting into the room to let them know they are up for the sound check, and soon enough Tobio is lost in his bass, plucking out melodies that make his chest rumble in happiness. When he’s done, he retreats backstage once more and discards his leather jacket, choosing a good spot on the side of the stage to settle into so he can watch Given perform, as they are the first ones up.</p><p>They play a simple and short set, but Kageyama ends up enjoying it more than he thought he would. Their music isn’t what he usually listens to, as he usually likes much heavier sounds, but he can’t deny that they are really good; their melodies just intricate enough to catch anyone’s attention, and the lead singer’s voice alluring enough to hypnotize any listener. Their songs speak of sadness and loss, but also of better tomorrows, and by the time their set is ending, Kageyama’s heart is almost bursting at the seams as he watches Mafuyu sing alongside Uenoyama, clearly telling him over and over he wants to be with him from there on out, and live life with him.</p><p>Kageyama wishes, also not for the first time, that he had the guts to tell Hinata just that, that he wants to be with him as they grow further (though not taller, in Shouyou’s case), and if he finds his best friend at the front of the crowd and watches him, instead of the stage, through that song, then that’s his own business and no one else’s.</p><p>By the time Given is leaving the stage, Tobio can feel the crowd roaring to go again, already hyped up and ready for the next performance. He loves this moment, the one just before he walks on stage and pours his soul into his music, when he can feel the anticipation of everyone watching, the build up for the moment they all lose themselves to the melodies his band plays out for them.</p><p>It takes only a few minutes for the sound techs to disconnect Given’s equipment and change it for Karasuno’s own, and before long he is up on stage, to cheers and screams from the crowd, and his face lights up in a wide smirk, one he often doesn’t show outside that place. As usual, he gives his all into his performance, his body accompanying the heavier beat of the songs his band plays, lips mouthing the lyrics he knows by heart, already, and his voice joining the lead singer’s as he sings the backing vocals. His eyes meet Hinata’s a few times, and he even pokes his tongue out at the ginger more than once, delighted when he sees the way the shorter man laughs merrily at the action.</p><p>As their set is coming to a close, Tobio watches as the lead singer of his band eases down the crowd, waiting until their cheers have turned into a soft lull before he speaks, using the quietness to catch his breath.</p><p>“Alright alright, thank you,” the man says into his microphone, a grin on his lips. “We decided we’d switch it up a little tonight, being our last show and all,” the vocalist continues, and there is some booing from displeased fans amidst the crowd. “I know, it sucks, we’re sorry, but we kinda miss home, don’t we guys?” He looks back at his band mates, and each of them nod, all of them knowing much too well the struggle of homesickness. “So, we’re gonna play you a new song, and I’d like to dedicate it to my lovely wife, who’s joined us here tonight. In fact, me and the boys asked some special people to attend this show. I tricked them and said it was just because it was the last show, but I just wanted our special people to know we’ve been thinking of them. So, if one of us asked you here tonight, know this song’s for you. As for everyone else, just enjoy!”</p><p>Tobio can’t believe what he’s hearing. He knows his friend had, indeed, been the one to suggest he asked Hinata to attend the show tonight, but he hadn’t been told they’d be dedicating the new song to him, even if Tobio wasn’t the one to say the words. His eyes flicker to the lead singer’s face, who winks at him before his expression softens into a sad one, to mirror the song they’re about to play, and Kageyama can’t even think about facing the crowd, his entire face brightening in a blush. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to play right away, because he’d be absolutely terrible at it as he struggles to grasp his feelings before they run too wild. As the lights lower around him, going almost completely out on everyone except the lead singer as the piano intro plays, he chances a glance at Hinata, now he can’t be stared back at.</p><p>“<em>Knew that this would happen, right from the start. Day by day the distance tears us apart,</em>” the front man begins singing along with the piano, voice soft and pained, and Kageyama can’t stop wondering what Hinata is thinking, unable to really read his expression; if he’s listening as attentively to the lyrics as he usually does whenever he shows him a new song he’d been working on, and, having not figured out already, if this will be enough for him to realize the bassist’s true feelings. “<em>Sitting with this useless phone in my hand, it’s harder ‘cause I know that you understand. And even if I make this call, the pain won’t go, the pain won’t go away... But maybe if I let you know you make me stronger, could you hold on for me?</em>”</p><p>There’s a pause on the singing then, the piano soft and quiet, and Kageyama takes a deep breath to pull himself out of his own head, his bass joining in along the guitar and drums, eyes focused on his strings as he tugs at them, heart beating loud inside his chest. The lights come on, showering the rest of the band in brightness, and Tobio’s simply glad he’s managed to hold back a blush from overtaking his features.</p><p>“<em>I know that you’ve been lying, acting alright, ‘cause something’s always wrong when we never fight,</em>” the lyrics go on, and Tobio finally feels strong enough to lift his eyes towards the crowd now that he can be seen, finding Shouyou’s amber eyes easily, holding his gaze as the ginger looks back at him in awe; the bassist knows, then, that he is, indeed, listening and understanding perfectly what this song means; what Tobio is telling him, even though he’s not the one singing it, just yet. “<em>The anger turns to silence, and silence turns to hate. So say what’s on your mind now, before it’s too late. And even if I make this call, the pain won’t go, the pain won’t go away... But maybe if I let you know you make me stronger, could you hold on for me</em>?”</p><p>By then, Kageyama is no longer playing the bass, dropping his hands and turning completely to where he can directly stare at his best friend, the chorus finally hitting, but soft and quiet with just the piano and vocals once more, a hint of a violin in the far back, a pre-recorded thing they’d managed to get just in time for tonight.</p><p>“<em>Every day it’s like we start all over... Missing pieces of an aching soul. But I don’t ever wanna say it’s over, ‘cause you’re the only one that makes me whole!</em>”</p><p>As the chorus ends, the rest of the band joins the song in full, this time louder and heavier than the soft tones they’d been playing earlier, and Tobio can’t look away from his best friend’s piercing gaze as he plays his heart out on his bass. He moves ever so slightly to stand behind a microphone where he sings his back up vocals, and after a short breakdown, he begins singing alongside the main vocalist, accompanying his tune in a different octave, blue eyes still fixed on amber hues.</p><p>“<em>And even if I make this call, the pain won’t go, the pain won’t go away! But maybe if I let you know you make me stronger, could you hold on for me?</em>” He pulls back from the microphone for a short moment to breathe, his plea ringing in his ears as he wonders what exactly Hinata’s answer would be to that. “<em>Every day it’s like we start all over! Missing pieces of an aching soul! But I don’t ever wanna say it’s over, ‘cause you’re the only one that makes me whole..</em>.”</p><p>As the melody dies out abruptly, the crowd fills the emptiness with cheers, obviously enticed by the new song. Tobio knows he should be enjoying this, should be ecstatic they seem to love the song he wrote, but he is lost in the tears swimming in his best friend’s eyes, whom he watches excuse himself from the crowd, slipping between people until he can leave the venue. It hurts, seeing him walk away, but the bassist puts the feeling away to handle later, knowing he has a concert to finish. He switches off his own brain and heart, and focuses on getting through the last few songs in their set, and when he’s finally done, he just robotically follow the motions of bowing before the crowd to thank them, and then drags his feet as he goes after his band mates backstage.</p><p>He can feel anger brewing inside his chest at having been put on the spot like that, of having been outed to his best friend without his consent, of having his emotions exposed without a care, and he wants nothing more than to escape from the backstage and out into the cold night so he won’t do anything he might regret later. However, before he can make his swift escape, he feels a strong hand clamp down on his shoulder and, as he turns, he comes face to face with his band’s lead singer.</p><p>“You leaving already?” The man asks innocently, unaware of what he’s done, and Tobio has to force himself not to twist his arm off as he lifts his hand to the other’s, and forcefully removes it from his shoulder. Still, he must be rougher than intended, because the other man stares at him wide-eyed, one eyebrow rising in surprise. “Oi, what the hell’s wrong with you?”</p><p>“Wha- What the hell is wrong with you? I asked Hinata to come here thinking nothing of it, and you put me on the spot like that!” Tobio’s frustration gets the better of him rapidly, as he growls at the other man with anger seeping into his every word. “I was perfectly content with him not knowing I’ve been fucking pining after him for years, thank you very much, and now you went and ruined that!”</p><p>“Wait! You guys really aren’t dating?” The question is innocent enough to bring Tobio to a stop, and he watches as the lead singer scrambles and stumbles over his words to explain his thoughts. “I figured you just weren’t comfortable saying he was your boyfriend or something, I didn’t know you hadn’t even told him you were in love with him!”</p><p>“Why the hell wouldn’t I be comfortable with that? I don’t give a fuck what people think,” Kageyama is quick to reply, groaning as he lifts his hands to hide his face behind them. “I only care what he thinks, and with the way he left the crowd as soon as that song was over, I’m fairly sure I know what that is, now.”</p><p>“Oh... man, fuck, I’m sorry, I had no—“</p><p>“Tobio.” A shiver up his spine, Kageyama doesn’t have to turn to confirm who has just called his name. Not only would he recognize Hinata’s quietest whisper from a distance, the way his body always reacts is indication enough of who has called for him. “I think we need to have that talk now,” the ginger continues, and the bassist knows he has to move, find somewhere quiet to talk to Hinata about his feelings and what they would do to fix this, but he can’t will himself to even turn around. “If you don’t move I’m just gonna say it right here,” he threatens, and Kageyama tries to ask him not to, well aware it’s not an empty threat, but he is too late already. “Okay, here it goes - I love you.”</p><p>There’s a beat of silence, only broken by the sounds permeating through the walls from the main stage, and then Kageyama realizes what he’s just heard and his body finally catches up to his brain, turning sharply as he looks, wide-eyed, at his best friend. Shouyou is standing near the exit of the building, arms crossed over his chest and serene expression on his face, as if he hasn’t just confessed to his best friend.</p><p>“I- what?!” His voice goes up an octave in surprise, and Tobio clears his throat to get it under control, continuing to stare at his shorter friend, hope and fear entangled inside his chest, squeezing his heart tight. “Y-you mean, as a friend, right?”</p><p>“Idiot,” is Hinata’s only reply, eyes rolling as he moves his arms from over his chest and crosses the space between them, his hands landing on each of Tobio’s cheeks as he pulls his face down, closer. “I mean as more than that, <em>Bakagayama</em>,” he continues, the nickname he’d developed for Tobio over the years slipping through his lips before he closes the remaining distance between them, lips meeting the taller boy’s in a soft, chaste kiss.</p><p>The bassist is too stunned to reciprocate or close his eyes, even, his pupils blown wide and hiding almost all of the blue in them as he stares down at his best friend. He’s spent many years longing for this moment, where everything finally falls into place and all his dreams come to fruition, and now that it’s here he has no idea what to do or say. He continues to stare at Hinata as he pulls back slightly, his eyes full of mirth as he looks back up at him.</p><p>“You okay there? Did I finally do it, did your brain break at last?”</p><p>“Shut up.” The words are pointed but not ill-intended, as Kageyama whispers them quickly, just to close the gap between them once more, initiating another kiss.</p><p>This time around, he closes his eyes into the motion and enjoys the sensation of Shouyou’s chapped lips against his, the roughness of his skin a reminder that this is all real. He places his hands on the small of the other man’s back as he holds him close, his skin tingling where Hinata’s fingers touch as he moves his hands to the back of his neck, gently tugging at the ends of his hair there.</p><p>When they break apart, Kageyama’s breathless, cheeks flushed and eyes shining with all the love he’d kept hidden over the years. It has been his best kept secret, the only one he hasn’t ended up divulging to his best friend after one too many drinks, but now that it is out in the open, he feels like the world has finally tilted upright, and everything can continue to move forward normally, whereas previously it has been stuck in an endless loop of longing.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispers, watching attentively as Shouyou’s face twists in glee as he hears the words, his lips splitting apart in his typical wide grin and his skin crinkling at the corners of his eyes in genuine happiness. Shouyou’s usually a smiley person in general, rarely seen without a grin on his lips, but this smile feels special, somehow; unique. “I love you, I love you,<em> I love you</em>,” Tobio whispers, splitting the confessions apart with small pecks on the shorter’s lips, delighted to see the glee with each his words are received.</p><p>“Okay, okay, I know,” Shouyou says after a few more repetitions of the words from Kageyama’s lips, his hands moving to hold Tobio’s face in place before he can launch another kissing attack on his face. “Can we go home now? Kyo’s lonely and missing you like crazy,” he says, the mention of the cat they’d adopted when they’d moved in together as roommates, right after leaving high school, bringing a chuckle out of Tobio’s lips, just a little huff of laughter that was barely there. “Besides, we need to move your stuff into my room, no point in separate rooms now we’re together.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re not even buying me dinner first?” Tobio teases, moving one of his hands to poke at Hinata’s side, the sudden gesture making the shorter man spit out a laugh. “And why the hell am I moving to your room, when mine’s bigger?” He continues, pulling back from his- well, he supposed he’s his boyfriend now.</p><p>“Better view,” is Shouyou’s only reply as he shrugs a shoulder, and although Tobio wants to tell him he couldn’t care less about the view, his room was made to sleep in and not to stare outside at the passing river, he finds he can’t really deny him when he looks almost like he’s glowing with happiness.</p><p>Deciding to drop the subject for the time being, Kageyama holds one of Hinata’s hands in his, lacing their fingers together so their contact isn’t broken by anyone or anything, and looks back at his band mates. He knows they wanted to celebrate their return home, but can spot the understanding in each of their expressions. Their loved ones had walked into the room at one point or another, so Tobio figures they’ll end up leaving sooner rather than later as well, and decides he’s not being rude by leaving so soon after their set is over.</p><p>“See you soon, guys,” he says as a farewell, his free hand waving at his band mates before he turns to face Shouyou again, a smile on his lips as he looks down at the man, before he tugs him towards the exit. Before they reach it, however, he remembers that Given are also in the room and stops walking, head swerving until he finds the other band, and almost snickers as he spots Uenoyama also holding Mafuyu’s hand, once again a mirror image he didn’t expect to see. “Good luck to you, have fun!”</p><p>Having said farewell to everyone in the room, at last, Tobio tugs Shouyou outside, the brisk breeze that had settled over the town raising goosebumps over the exposed flesh on his arms. He almost turns to go back inside and grab his previously disposed-of leather jacket, but as he glances down at Hinata’s still blissful expression, he decides against it.</p><p>Having the embodiment of literal sunshine by his side is enough to keep him warm, in the end.</p>
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